We all want to get into relationships. After all, it’s pretty awesome to know that other than yourself and your family, you have that special someone who cares for you and places you as first priority in his or her life, isn’t it? Maybe you crave the touch of that special someone, and want to experience that whirlwind romance you’ve heard so much about from your bff and cousins.
So when the opportunity comes, when either you or your partner confesses, and you want to leap straight in, headfirst with no hesitation. Love is supposed to be blind, right? Wrong.
Here’s 10 questions that you absolutely have to ask yourself before committing to a relationship, or it won’t be strong and lasting. Trust us, we know. These questions are applicable to both guys and girls, I just wrote it from a girl’s perspective because, well, it just seems right.
Is your partner ready?
Maybe your partner just got out of a bad relationship not too long ago, or maybe they’ve just gone too long without a relationship, first question you must always ask, is whether they’re ready for one. Most people get into relationship not because of love (sadly) but because they crave the physical aspect of a relationship (for example, holding hands, having someone to hug, having someone to accompany him or her, etc). Make sure to get the answer to this question correct, or you’ll be left with a broken heart when they decided they’re done and leave you behind while they go on their merry way.
Is he ready to commit?
Your partner has his own life, just as you have yours; but is your partner ready to give up a substantial portion of his time to commit in a relationship to you? When he spends time with you, it means lesser time for him to indulge in his own interests, lesser time to hang out with his buddies, maybe even having to cut off some friendships with girls who were interested in him romantically. If he’s not ready to do all that, he’s not worth getting into a relationship with, because everything will come to a screeching halt when he decides that hey, he’s not ready yet.
Does your partner want to change you?
If your partner keeps wanting to change the way you lead your life, the way you do things, the things you do, then chances are you’re in for plenty of friction during the entire relationship. His desire to change you means he doesn’t love you the way you are right now, and honestly, you deserve to be with someone who love you for simply being you. Nothing lesser.
Do you him the way he is right now?
Similar to the previous point, do you love your partner the way he is right now, or are you thinking that you’ll change him over the course of a relationship. Changes take place in individuals within a relationship, but these changes are done of their own volition. If you get into a relationship with the intention to change him, you’re likely looking at a relationship that is doomed to fail. He deserves better than that.
Has your partner gotten over his ex?
That’s a mighty important question to ask. It can be heartbreaking being someone’s rebound, because while you want to make things work, your partner might just want someone to tide over the heartbreak. The moment he’s healed from the emotional trauma of his previous failed relationship, he’ll pat their backside and walk off. Then you’ll be left looking for a rebound.
Do you trust your partner?
Trust is important in any relationship, and it’s probably one of the most basic building blocks. Can you trust your partner with your secrets, your heart and your life? If you can’t, you’re better off not starting one.
Are you looking for the same things in a relationship?
You might be looking to “test water”, but he’s looking for someone to settle down, or it might be the other way round. Make sure that both you and him knows what both of you are looking for in a relationship, so that at least both of you are working in the correct frequency.
Can the both of you resolve conflicts peacefully?
Is he someone you can debate and argue with without him getting defensive and angry? Is he able to talk things out with you instead of placing demands and insisting that he’s right? If you find that you can’t resolve things in a peaceable manner with him, it’s better to give this a pass and move on because conflicts are inevitable in a relationship, and how many times will you give way before you finally decide that enough is enough?
How does he make you feel?
Everyone has a certain set of principles in life which they operate by, and it differs from person to person. Do you have to compromise your own set of values when you’re together with him? Do you change the way you behave because you’re afraid of disappointing him? Does he scare you? If you answer yes to any of the above, it’s time to move on.
How do you feel about it?
And finally, the most important question; how do you feel about entering into a relationship with him? Observe your emotions and find out why you’re entering into a relationship with him. Make sure that you’re entering into the relationship with the right reasons, i.e. you want him to be in your life, you love him, etc. and not the wrong reasons such as wanting to have someone (read: anyone) hold you and love you, wanting someone to spend on you, etc. Entering the relationship with the right reasons is like having half the battle won.